Lessons From My Baby Girl

In this fast-paced concrete jungle so many of us call home, we are often scurrying through our lives at a breakneck pace. As the competition to get our kids into the most prestigious schools intensifies, parents go to great lengths to give their children the edge they need to get ahead in this unforgiving metropolis. If you peer closely into the shadows of the soaring skyscrapers down streets snarled with yellow taxis, you will typically observe them in their most natural state – these stroller-striding, sleep-deprived moms hiding behind Chanel sunglasses and relentlessly barreling down the sidewalks en route to the city’s premier infant and toddler enrichment classes. We sacrifice our sleep and sometimes even a blowout, all in the name of educating our children. But while we Manhattan moms put forth unparalleled efforts to give our tots every learning opportunity, we seldom pause to recognize the priceless lessons our babies are unwittingly teaching us. 

Last week we joyfully celebrated our daughter’s first birthday with our closest friends and family. Between nibbles of cake and sips of champagne, I found myself immersed in a moment of reverie, reflecting on this whirlwind year and pondering the sheer wonder of it all – the challenges of juggling two-under-two, the poignant memories of my daughter’s first milestones, and the unexpected events that jarred me into reappraising my priorities. It boggles my mind that this ephemeral chapter in my daughter’s life will be one she recalls only through stories and photographs. And although she won’t recollect it, her first year is also one of developmental leaps and absorption through our direct instruction, modeling and environmental osmosis.  Little did I know that the lessons my baby girl would teach me would be just as valuable as those I have imparted to her.

Perservere

There appears to be no impediment on this Earth that will halt my baby girl from obtaining any physical objects she targets. Take wires and electrical outlets, for example. For a reason unbeknownst to me, my daughter, like my son before her, is spellbound by hazardous enticements and drawn to them like a moth to a flame. Although our electrical outlets are equipped with sliding plate covers to prevent the kids from sticking items into the tiny holes, it’s more challenging to baby-proof occupied outlets.  After having furnished our apartment with the finest 19th century French antiques (thank you, Charles Cheriff Galleries), we have resorted to reconfiguring our furniture into a makeshift obstacle course in an effort to block off access to electrical outlets. Equally naughty as she is internally driven, this pint-sized apprentice electrician will strategize and exhibit calculated maneuvers to scale any barricade put in place to prevent her from accessing those dangerous corners of our apartment. She perseveres through any challenge and won’t give up until she succeeds, or in this case, seizes a fist-full of wires requiring a prompt intervention to move her back to her playmat. In a blasé smirking manner, looking backwards to make sure I’m watching, she will do it again and again and again.  I admire her steadfast tenacity and continue to be impressed by this quality on a daily basis. Despite repeatedly tumbling before somehow climbing over our roadblocks, not once does she think, “maybe this just isn’t for me.” If more of us took a cue from our children and refused to be weighed down by a plethora of perceived limitations and impossibilities, there is no limit to what we might accomplish.

Find Joy in the Little Things

My daughter enjoys showing off her self-evident comprehension of “object permanence,” and what better way to tickle her fancy than engaging in the universal game of peek-a-boo?  Her high-pitched squeal of excitement when I vanish and reappear is a reaction so unadulterated, so pure and one filled with joy. This game, though so very simple in nature, transcends all language and cultural barriers; it is based solely on the fundamental concepts of expectation and surprise. It never gets old. In fact, repetition only seems to intensify my daughter’s jubilation. And as it turns out, the laughter is contagious! Regardless of how many times we engage in this infantile amusement, I can’t help but succumb to her giggles as I hide my face and suddenly pop back into her view. I can only hope that she will greet me with the very same enthusiasm years from now when peek-a-boo will have become a distant memory. Her captivating sense of innocence and wonderment at life’s mundane pleasures is a refreshing departure from the ominous uncertainty of today’s world.  If we could all see the world through the eyes of a child we might appreciate the small, commonly-overlooked pleasures in our everyday lives.

Live for the Moment

Like most babies, my daughter has the fantastic ability to embrace the present and appreciate each moment as it transpires.  She is blissfully unaware of the stressors that plague many adults and has no concept of either the past or future. She knows only now – this very moment, which is essentially the only thing we have for sure. While some adults spend the greater portion of their lives lamenting the past, mourning missed opportunities and worrying about the future, my baby experiences sensations only in the here and now. So long as her needs are gratified immediately, she has no foresight into what needs she may have in the future and isn’t distracted by thoughts of time gone by.  Although the complexities of our adult lives have robbed us of this same divine naiveté, we can all by some measure strive to be more present in our daily lives.

No Two Babies Are Alike

Prior to my son’s birth in 2014, I had visions of nibbling on tea sandwiches and petit fours in Central Park while my baby played quietly on a blanket next to me. Boy, did I have a warped perception of motherhood!  In addition to assuming the role of new mother after the birth of my son, I also acquired the not-so-glamorous roles of bodyguard, referee, and janitor. As stay-at-home-mom to my incredibly thrill-seeking, rambunctious boy, my days were spent protecting, policing and cleaning up after my son as he mischievously sought opportunities to scale furniture, jump from high surfaces, and turn our apartment walls into crayon-based murals of his own design. When I became pregnant with our second baby while my son was merely 13 months, I was frightened to my innermost core. As much as I love a challenge, I shuddered at the thought of having two of these pint-sized bulldozers leveling our apartment like a tornado. And then I found out we were expecting a girl, and a wave of tranquility washed over me and awakened my inner child who had fantasized about one day having a little girl of her own. As nature would have it, it wasn’t too long after my daughter’s birth that I began noticing unmistakable differences in the personalities of my baby girl and toddler son. My baby girl has always been so mellow, loves cuddling and being held, and cries whenever I leave the room, whereas my son has been an independent free-spirit and risk-taker since day one.  The disparities in their personalities could not be any more consistent with gender-specific stereotypes. A few weeks ago my friend, Chelsea, and I took our baby girls to the park for a picnic lunch. As we listened to the birds chirping and airplanes swirling above, our babies sat peacefully by our sides, and in a moment of pure nirvana, we locked eyes and knew this was the rare flash of serenity that we so foolishly thought defined motherhood.

Love knows no bounds

Most second time moms concur – at one point we thought it was inconceivable to love a new baby as much as our first. Our first borns made us mothers and taught us everything we now know about unconditional love. For 20 months my son had my undivided attention and within this time we shared a wealth of unforgettable experiences (for me, at least). Every day was a new adventure. We ate at the latest restaurants, traveled to different neighborhoods in search of the best playgrounds and had play dates or classes virtually daily. I knew him with every fiber of my being and our relationship was one of perfect harmony. When I discovered I was expecting my 2nd child, I experienced both anxiety about the changing dynamic of our relationship and fear of splitting my time and affection with a newborn. How could I even fathom loving another baby as much as my son when I couldn’t possibly share that same connection with a new baby? The answer to this question would soon find its way to me. I discovered soon after my daughter was born that the heart is not subject to limitations as I had once thought, but rather is capable of infinite love.  As our family of 3 expanded to 4, my heart so naturally followed in suit. And so began this crazy adventure as a family of 4, my heart practically bursting at the seams with every moment.

 

 

Mothering Without A Mother

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

The last time I saw my mother was March 19, when my family congregated for brunch to celebrate my brother’s 40th birthday. As my mother looked around the table at my husband and me, our two children, and my brother, his wife and their two children, she beamed with pride. “Look at all we’ve created,” she spoke softly to my father, her face luminous with pleasure. Although only 65 when she died suddenly two weeks later, my mother had been living her dream. There she was, looking on, as her babies had grown up, gotten married and started families of their own. In a way, her life’s work was complete.

Nothing could have prepared me for this loss. Facing each new day without my mother is much like waking up to a world without a sky – unimaginable. I’ve been looking for ways to articulate the tsunami of emotions – the heartbreak, despair, anger, sorrow, confusion – engulfing my heart in the days following her passing, but I’ve arrived at the realization that words alone cannot give voice to the depth of these feelings.

In the days immediately following my mother’s death, I gazed out the windows bewildered as people walked in and out of restaurants, their lives seemingly unfettered while my world was imploding, rendering me crippled. As a mom of an infant and toddler, there has never been a time in my life when I’ve felt like I needed my own mother more. Although 80 miles separated us, my mother was the first and last phone call of every day and was at the very heart of everything I do. She was the only person who was truly interested in the most mundane minutiae of my daily life. And in the frequent moments of pandemonium that often define motherhood, my mother was my guiding light and penultimate voice of reason. I long to hear the sound of her voice on the other end of the phone, offering guidance, wisdom, and telling me stories about my own childhood. And when my children reach a new milestone or do something to make me laugh, it feels slightly imperfect because I can’t share it with my mom. It is in these bittersweet moments when I miss her most. You see, it doesn’t matter how old you are. As a woman, you never stop needing your mother, and I will never stop needing mine.

My mother put her entire being into raising me and my brother and ensuring that we had every opportunity to learn, grow and achieve our dreams. And although she was a selfless woman who loved her children unconditionally, she was the quintessential Jewish mother who also made sure to remind us of her sacrifices and hold us to the highest of expectations. These expectations and my fear of failing to meet them served as catalyst for academic success and all aspects of personal achievement. In fact, although I’m now a grown woman with a family of my own, I am still very much guided by an inherent desire to make my mother proud.

If I am to make any sense at all out of her death, it is that life is both fleeting and precious. Seasons change, calendar pages flutter in the breeze, and time rapidly accelerates as we get older. As I continue on this surreal odyssey as a motherless mother, there is only one thing about which I am certain – I will take one day at a time and will instill in my children all of the values my mother worked so tirelessly to instill in me.

Money doesn’t buy happiness.

Those who knew my mother know that her life was marked by neither glitz nor glamour. She wasn’t at all impressed with worldly possessions and turned away from most material things. She was a minimalist who felt most comfortable wearing a paint-splattered grey hooded sweatshirt. I recall the time when I bought my first pair of Louboutins and she eagerly pointed out to me that the bottoms of my shoes were red, as if I hadn’t known. While Mom had very little appreciation for the finer things in life, she was always amused by my love of all things fashion and indulged me with frequent shopping trips as a child. In fact, some of my favorite childhood memories with her are afternoons spent in a mall dressing room as she tirelessly brought in one outfit after another for me to try on. Although she humored me and my affinity for inanimate objects, my mother also taught me that true happiness can be found only in relationships with people and through acts of kindness. As such, her legacy is not one of material things accumulated in her life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.

Give back to the community.

At any given time, much of my mother’s kitchen counter tops would be concealed by heaping piles of calendars, return address labels and other paraphernalia sent by the charities to which she religiously donated. The Humane Society, Paralyzed Veterans, and Jewish National Fund were just a few of the causes to which she felt so very committed. From a very early age she instilled in me that tzedakah – charity – is the most important of mitzvot.  Her unshakable moral compass, righteousness, and fervent belief in donating to those less fortunate exemplified her adherence to the fundamental principles of Jewish life.

Always carry a jacket with you.

It could be an August afternoon with sweltering temperatures and stifling humidity, but my mother would never forget to carry a jacket with her and always reminded me to follow in suit. Any failure to do so would be irresponsibly flirting with the risk of catching a cold. You see, my mother was the embodiment of the universal caricature of Jewish mothers. What if it’s cold in the restaurant?  What if they have the air conditioning on? These were real possibilities, and you know what? She was usually right!

Be honest and true to yourself in all of your endeavors.

My mother approached life with an unwavering commitment to brutal honesty. Always eager to voice her opinion and expose any injustice, she was truly a force to be reckoned with. Her incredibly quick wit and unfiltered opinions made her the most perfect sounding-board, and I consulted with her before making the majority of my important decisions. My mom was also not at all skittish when it came to offering unsolicited critiques and suggestions on my clothing choices, and although she couldn’t be bothered with her own wardrobe, she had a keen eye for fashion and meticulous attention to detail.  Who needs Fashion Police when you have a Jewish mother?

You can do anything if you put your mind to it.

Anyone who had met my mother could attest to her ferocious determination. There was nothing this woman could not do. A jack-of-all-trades, she regularly mowed her 1.5 acres of grass on a sit-down tractor and took on laborious household projects such as once installing kitchen counter tops, wallpapering, scraping away popcorn ceilings and painting a myriad of rooms in addition to arduously power-washing the exterior of her house.  Equal parts Herculean and stubborn, my mother refused my father’s pleadings to hire professionals to perform tasks she felt she could execute better herself.  My brother and I would win Halloween costume contests at elementary school every year thanks to my mom’s over-the-top homemade costumes (think 6-foot tall giraffe). She even outdid herself constructing a Tudor dollhouse for me furnished with carpet, linoleum floors and wallpaper in every room. My mother loved projects and her creativity knew no bounds. As a knitter extraordinaire, she would make the most exquisite sweaters for my children and even my dog, whose custom threads turn heads on every street corner.

In her absence, I am left with sadness so profound that sometimes it feels like I’m drowning in grief. While the relationship I have with my mother is one that transcends the limitations of the physical world, I can’t help but feel robbed of her at a juncture when I still so heavily relied on her guidance. If there is a silver lining to be found, it is that the principals and values she so deeply ingrained in me read like a transcript to my ever-present inner voice. My greatest wish is that my kids will always know how much she loved them and how they had made her life complete.  If I can be half the mother to them that she was to me, I know I will have succeeded. And if she were here right now, she would most certainly be wondering what all this mishegoss is about. I can practically hear her say, “Enough already, Melissa. Go live your life … and put a coat on – it’s chilly out.”

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

SPLURGE or SAVE With Chloe’s Hottest Spring Shoe Trends

It’s no secret that I’m obsessed with fancy footwear. In fact, one glance at my closet leaves most people wondering whether I even wear the same pair twice.  A sale, you say? I’ll be at the store when it opens, credit card in hand while borderline foaming at the mouth. Ohhh Christian, Giuseppe, and Manolo, why must you taunt me with your irresistible eye candy? In an ideal world, retail therapy would be covered by health insurance, but who can afford to indulge in designer footwear while keeping up with ever-changing fashion trends?  Fortunately, for those of us rendered penniless from last season’s splurges, fast-fashion brands are skillfully mirroring designer footwear to provide us with access to high-end designs at a fraction of the cost. Chloe (which also happens to be my daughter’s name) is one of my favorite designers for everyday casual footwear. Apparently many other shoe designers have gotten the memo, as the French luxury fashion house’s designs are some of today’s most replicated styles.  As it turns out, imitation really is the sincerest form of flattery.

Chloe “Lauren” Scallop Espadrille Flat

Nordstrom espadrille
Chloe “Lauren” espadrille, $495 at Nordstrom

Take the Chloe “Lauren” suede espadrilles (above), for instance. These warm-weather flats are equal parts feminine and playful and the scalloped edges provide a whimsical update to the traditional espadrille silhouette. At $495, these beauties are inaccessible for most. So what’s a girl to do?

Crown
Crown Vintage “Bahamas” Espadrille Flats, $49 at DSW

Enter the Crown Vintage “Bahamas” flat.  Like the Chloe espadrille, these are made from luscious suede and feature feminine scalloped detailing that differentiate it from most others of its kind. Best part – these shoes are available for only $49 at DSW. Buy them here before they sell out.

The Chloe “Isa” Espadrille Wedge Sandal

Chloe ISa
The Chloe “Isa” Espadrille Wedge Sandal, $625 at Mytheresa

It was truly love at first sight when I came across the Chloe “Isa” wedge while shopping at Nordstrom. I loved everything about it – the jute-wrapped wedge heel, the satin-finished gold-tone hardware, the oh-so subtle peep-toe, and the buttery-soft suede that cradled my foot ever so gently. After wiping the drool from my chin, I put these on my Spring wishlist and moved onto Bloomingdales. And that’s when I spotted “Adalyn,” Marc Fisher’s homage to the pricier Chloe wedge. Upon first glance these shoes look almost identical and only upon close inspection can one notice the discreet differences. For only $160, the Marc Fisher wedges are an affordable alternative with the same designer look.

Adalyn
Marc Fisher “Adalyn” Espadrille Wedge Sandal, $160 at Bloomingdales 

It just so happens that Steve Madden has also jumped on the bandwagon with the release of his “Jaylen” espadrille wedge sandal, currently selling for only $60 at DSW.  Who could argue with that price?

steve madden
Steve Madden “Jaylen” Espadrille Wedge Sandal, $60 at DSW

The epitome of elegance and grace, the ballet flat is a classic shoe that will never go out of style. With its year-round wearability and versatility to match almost any ensemble, the ballet flat is undeniably one of the most important pieces in a woman’s closet. As a proud collector of Chanel ballerinas, you could say that I have elevated standards for purchasing flats. At first I was skeptical about the Chloe “Lauren” ballet flat and thought the scalloped trim may irritate the backs of my heels, but oh my, are these shoes comfortable! Priced at a whopping $495 at Neiman Marcus, these ballerinas are an investment piece. It can be hard to justify spending a small fortune on ballet flats, even if you painstakingly care for your shoes as I do.

The Chloe “Lauren” Scalloped Leather Ballerina Flat, $495 at Neiman Marcus

Chloe ballet
The Chloe “Lauren” Scalloped Leather Ballerina Flat, $495 at Neiman Marcus

Leave it to French Sole NY to introduce their “Jigsaw” ballet flat, a ballerina that bears a striking resemblance to the pricier Chloe shoe. Available at Zappos for only $200, these are a steal! But it gets better – the French Sole scalloped flats are actually featured on Gilt.com for a limited time for only $155. Sizes are extremely limited so get yours here before they’re gone!

French sole
The French Sole NY “Jigsaw” Ballerina, $200 at Zappos

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Manhattan Mommy Spring Essentials

Just as we thought we were out of the woods, yesterday New York City received a Winter reality check in the form of a snow and ice storm, transforming the streets of Manhattan into a near ghost town. As my toddler and I baked cookies, I watched the layers of freezing rain accumulate on our kitchen windows, and my mind drifted to lazy Spring afternoons in Central Park and meandering through street fairs on warm days. Although this weather is no indicator, Monday marks the official start to Spring. As the warmer weather approaches and dreams of sipping Chardonnay (I mean sparkling water, ahem) in the park become a reality, there are certain seasonal accessories that Manhattan moms should be adding to their online shopping carts.

      1. The Save My Bag Handbag 

 

The Save MY Bag handbag line was developed to provide women with stylish protective covers for their expensive designer handbags. Ingenious, really, as unpredictable weather conditions can really wreak havoc on suede, fabrics and exotic skins. Made from a spongy Lycra blend, these bags are waterproof and hand-washable with cold water. The Save My Bag designs mimic the iconic silhouettes of designer bags and are fitted with a hard removable base to support heavy contents. These bags are so classic and versatile that they’ve become a favorite among celebrities and retailers can’t keep them on the shelves. As the days get longer, the temperatures get warmer, and New York moms spend more hours outdoors and away from home. As all moms can attest, this means heavier bags stocked with an abundant supply of diapers, wipes, snacks, and other necessities, and that’s just for the babies! Not only are the Save My Bags large enough to fit all of your diaper bag contents and personal items, but they’re also affordable and weigh less than most traditional diaper bags. This Spring, be the most glamorous Mom at the playground with these trend setting totes. Buy yours at Bloomingdales or directly from the Save My Bag online shop.

      2. Flipsters Foldable Sandal

flipsterm2

We’ve all been there – we leave our apartments dressed for comfortable Spring weather and by the end of the afternoon we’re tired, shvitzing, and wishing we could just kick off our shoes and socks. . .  Well now you can.  Introducing Flipsters, the foldable flip-flops you can conveniently tuck into your bag for these “emergency” occasions. Although available in a wide assortment of colors, I prefer the “champagne,” which most closely resembles nude and would match practically any ensemble. On weekends we often take our kids out for brunch followed by impromptu play dates in the park or fun field trips to other destinations around the city. Rather than chasing my toddler around in my red soles I slip into my Flipsters and put the Louboutins away for safe keeping. I love the convenience of always having an alternative footwear option inside my bag. On sale for $27.95, hurry up and buy yours before they’re gone. 

      3.  JJ Cole Outdoor Blanket

 

Large enough for the whole family, this multi-purpose JJ Cole outdoor blanket is the perfect companion for picnic lunches with my infant and toddler. Manufactured from water-resistant material, this blanket can be used on damp grass or muddy ground and will protect your clothes from the elements and keep them looking pristine. The blanket wipes clean and can even be machine washed should your little ones have a penchant for messy eating. In addition to picnic lunches, this lightly padded blanket also provides the perfect accommodations for you and your little ones at the many music classes held in the Upper East Side’s neighborhood parks. Easily folded and adorned with a convenient carry strap, toting this blanket is truly effortless. Theses are available in both 5′ x 5′ and 5′ x 7′ at Amazon

       4.  Kovot 9-Piece Wine Travel Bag

wine00

For wine enthusiasts and parents of toddlers alike, a compact wine tote is an essential component for transforming a lackluster play date in the park into a “mocktail hour” fit for even the most fabulous moms. The Kovot 9-piece wine travel bag is like having your very own wine bar right at your fingertips. The insulated wine tote is compact in design and comes fully stocked with unbreakable glasses, napkins and corkscrew. Nervous about the kiddos knocking over your drinks? No worries – the set also includes stakes that stick right into the ground and keep your glasses safe and upright. Weighing in at less than two pounds, this is a staple item in my stroller’s storage basket. Don’t wait until the next warm weekend – buy it at Amazon now. 

      5.  Evian Natural Mineral Water Facial Mist 

00

I was first introduced to Evian Natural Mineral Water Facial Mist in Riviera Maya, Mexico, where our resort provided individual bottles to guests on the pool deck. Evian is widely known for their bottled water, but surprisingly their facial mist has flown under the radar for years. Evian Natural Mineral Water Facial Mist rehydrates dry skin and provides an instant refreshing pick-me-up for worn-out moms everywhere. Packaged in a leak-proof canister and small enough to keep inside your purse or diaper bag, its micro-droplets are formulated to freshen up makeup throughout the day. Available at Sephora, just one little spritz of this facial mist is all you need to cool off on a warm Spring day.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Surviving with Two-Under-Two

st5a2439melissa

As little girls we spend hours pushing miniature strollers, dressing (and undressing) dolls, emulating how we see mothers care for their babies and practicing for the future.  Just like the real thing, right? Ha! As a child, no one tells you about the diaper blow-outs, catching vomit with bare hands, or being peed on, all while operating on 3 hours of sleep. Taking care of a baby is an all-encompassing job, and while it’s indisputably rewarding in a myriad of ways, it can simultaneously trigger feelings of terror, frustration and exhaustion (in that order) akin only to dodging through crowds of seasoned shoppers at the Saks after-Christmas sale.

In May my husband and I embarked on an emotional roller-coaster as we welcomed our second child when our first was merely 20 months old.  Our cozy family of three had become a quartet overnight and it felt like we were driving a Ferrari without a steering wheel. In the weeks leading up to my newborn’s arrival, I felt a sense of guilt that even surpassed the time I had too many mimosas and purchased full-price Louboutins identical to a pair I already own. How would we preserve what we had with our toddler while embracing the changing dynamic of our growing family? How would I have the energy to keep up with a raging toddler while waking every two hours to feed a seven pound dictator? These were questions to which I would soon have answers.

Having 2 babies under the age of 2 presents its own unique set of challenges, but with patience and an optimistic mindset, it is possible to tend to a newborn’s basic needs while also managing an active toddler. Below I will divulge five of my own tried-and-true strategies for surviving, thriving and even looking chic while caring for two-under-two.

      1. Put the Phone Down

For many Manhattan women, shopping is a competitive sport that requires discipline, stamina and a high-speed internet connection.  If you’re like me, you’re glued to your phone around 11am/12pm EST when the online flash sale sites launch their daily deals. Who wouldn’t be interested to peep all of the discount designer merchandise on RueLaLa, Gilt, Hautelook, etc.? It’s easy to be distracted by the constant presence of our mobile devices and the immediacy of communication and information that they provide. Aside from accessing flash sales, we grocery shop, order dinner, pay bills, read news, and receive social media updates from friends all at the touch of a button. Although it may be difficult at times, it’s essential to disconnect from these digital distractions, especially in the company of your little ones who are competing for your attention. I really restrict my phone usage around my kids and instead use our time together to play games, read books, and focus on being “present”. Sharing these private moments with each of your babies reassures them that they are both loved and an important part of the family. Moms everywhere – Next time you feel the temptation to use your phone, please remind yourself that while the internet will be around for years to come, your babies will be babies only once.

      2. Privacy – It’s Overrated. 

I can’t even remember the last time I was able to take a shower or use the bathroom without the presence of a pint-sized playmate. Now that my toddler has learned to open doors, I’ve surrendered the little slice of privacy I’d been clinging to since his birth. When I’m brushing my teeth, there he is – my steadfast bathroom buddy, excitedly rummaging through my makeup drawer. If anyone needs their toilet flushed 157 times, my kid is available! Need toilet paper? No problem! My toddler has just unraveled an entire roll. Rather than allowing privacy deprivation to get me down, I consider myself lucky to have children who constantly want to be with me and I’ve grown accustomed to incorporating my sweet little sidekicks into my routines, even those that happen behind (once) closed doors. When my toddler isn’t busy ransacking my bathroom cabinets or trying to flush household objects down the toilet, I try to involve him as much as possible in my morning routine. My pint-sized personal stylist loves picking out my clothes and accessories, helping me get dressed, brushing my hair and helping me make coffee.  In the afternoons, I often utilize my toddler’s nap as an opportunity to wash my hair, in which case my infant joins me in the bathroom in a bouncy seat so I can watch her through the glass shower door (with door cracked for fresh air). Sometimes I even add Olbas (http://www.olbas.co.uk/products/olbas-for-children.ashx) oil to my shower if she’s at all congested. She loves the sound of the cascading water and enjoys playing peek-a-boo as I wipe away the fog on the glass door. Who needs privacy when you can have inquisitive smiling eyes gazing up at you at all times?

       3. Distract, Distract, Distract.

One of my chief concerns about having two-under-two was how I would keep my high-energy toddler safe and distracted so that I could peacefully nurse my newborn. This thrill-seeking mini-MacGyver, appropriately nicknamed “The Monkey”, would be right at home swinging from trees in the jungle. In highly calculated maneuvers, he pushes furniture to help reach objects, scales shelving units, jumps from high surfaces, and cannot be left unattended for even a moment. I had heard promising feedback about the Amazon Fire tablet through a friend and figured I would give it a shot. The tablet proved to be a successful means of keeping him engrossed and out of harm’s way, but I didn’t feel comfortable exposing him to so much screen time. That’s when I came up with the idea to create a “breastfeeding basket” filled with stimulating toys that I would make available only during the times when I’m nursing the baby. Worked like a charm! Nesting cups, Tupperware containers and Mister Potato Head have been some of his favorites, but it’s important to switch up these toys regularly otherwise the novelty wears off and the breastfeeding basket will backfire. If all else fails, you can always put your toddler into his crib with some toys.

      4. Mommy & Me.

“Who is this new little creature monopolizing my mommy’s time? Why doesn’t she spend as much time with me anymore? Am I still her numero uno shopping sidekick?” Welcoming a new baby presents many challenges for the two-under-two family, the greatest of which, in my opinion, is helping the toddler adjust to the new family dynamic. He/she may be angry, confused and/or jealous of the new baby and unable to adequately communicate any of these feelings. After my daughter was born, it was very difficult for my son to fully comprehend the concept of having a new sibling. Even though we read books about becoming a big brother and role-played with dolls, it wasn’t until we brought the new baby home from the hospital that reality sank in. Although my son has been smitten with his baby sister from the very beginning, there have been times he has struggled with jealousy stemming from sharing my attention. While verbally reassuring him of how much he is loved is important, I’ve found it much more valuable to show him through my actions.  I incorporate into our daily routine at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted “mommy & me” time and it’s been such a fantastic way for me to remind him I’m still his mommy. We take mommy & me classes, go out for lunch, visit museums and play at the park. Most importantly, giving him my undivided attention every day makes him feel valued and appreciated.

      5. They’re always sick – Get used to it

When my son was an infant he never had so much as a sniffle.  I took him to classes, restaurants, and more shopping adventures than I’m willing to admit. Fast forward two years and things couldn’t be any more different.  On any given day, there is a fairly good chance that someone in our household is sick.  Now that my son is in preschool he’s exposed to countless germs, all of which he eagerly brings home to his baby sister. Despite frequent hand washing and our best efforts to sanitize everything that comes through our door, it seems like we are fighting a losing battle. Ever try quarantining a rambunctious 2-year old in a Manhattan apartment? You would have an easier time going to Hermes and walking out with a Birkin. The first winter with your toddler and newborn/infant will inevitably be an endless onslaught of runny noses and low-grade fevers. No need to panic, however. Armed with infant Tylenol, boogie wipes and a NoseFrida, you will have all the essentials to ride out even the worst cold season. Dust off your Juicy velour separates and take advantage of this time by sharing extra cuddles and allowing them to indulge in their favorite television shows. Most importantly, take comfort in knowing that childhood exposure to germs may help boost immunity and enjoy those snuggles while you can!

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Ready, Set, Shop!

On blistery cold winter days, Manhattan parents often struggle with keeping their rambunctious tots entertained in apartments where space is extremely limited. As the mother of a thrill-seeking 2-year old boy, I’m always searching for new indoor venues where I can set my son free to burn off some energy. For parents in the city’s Upper East Side neighborhood, common rainy-day destinations include The Children’s Museum Of Manhattan, The Museum of Natural History, Barnes & Noble Bookstore, the local library and a variety of pay-as-you-go indoor play spaces. After having exhausted all of the aforementioned resources this winter, this weekend we piled into the car and drove to The Westchester, the county’s premier shopping experience and home to some of my favorite retailers. What could have easily been a series of unfortunate and embarrassing meltdowns with a toddler and infant was actually an enjoyable afternoon for our whole family. Below I will share some easily applied strategies that will help to ensure your shopping day with the kids is also stress-free and delightful.

_mall
Vest ::  Jocelyn (sold out) – similar here  Boots :: Marc Fisher Diaper Bag :: Gucci   Bracelets :: Hermes

Put Them To Work

We all have that one mommy friend whose toddler sits peacefully in a shopping cart while his/her mother leisurely shops. Not my kid! Like most 2-year-old’s, my toddler requires constant entertainment and demands immediate gratification. Boredom is our main source of behavioral issues while in public, so giving him an active role in shopping makes him less likely to seek out mischief and lessens the likelihood of any meltdowns. Because he is also extremely independent and loves a challenge, he really enjoys whatever tasks I ask him to complete. Whether it be finding socks of a certain color or grabbing an item from a shelf within his reach, it keeps him busy and gives him an enormous sense of accomplishment.  At the Westchester, one of his favorite projects was throwing a few coins into the water fountain and making a wish for us. He loved being Mommy’s little helper. 

_mall61

_mall4

Teach ‘Em

_mall3

A trip to the mall is generally viewed as an indulgence for Mom, but should really be considered as mutually beneficial for both Mom and babies. Here’s why – shopping presents a unique opportunity for the practical application of basic arithmetic and other everyday skills. “If we buy 2 pairs of shoes, how many shoes in total will we have? One, two, three, four…” Math is everywhere in a store and the lessons can become more complex as the kids grow.  “If we buy 3 barrettes and give one to a friend, how many barrettes will we have left?” A fun game I play with my toddler is finding items of a specific shape as we walk through a store. Kids can also practice reading price tags and comparing the cost of different items. With my infant I focus more on introducing colors and exposure to vocabulary words, but I’m always looking out for those teachable moments. 

Time Out

After combing through the racks at Neiman Marcus, what 2-year-old wouldn’t need a break? I suggest strategically planning shopping trips around either playgrounds or amusement centers as a way of rewarding good behavior and allowing them to burn off some energy after all of their “hard work.” Physical activity also lengthens my son’s attention span and helps him sleep better at night. Fortunately for us, The Westchester had just revealed a brand new interactive play area complete with colossal step-and-play keyboard, fluorescently lit Magna-tile station, wall-mounted bead mazes and a baby-friendly arena with soft, colorful gym equipment. My son had so much fun in this play area and can’t wait for his next shopping adventure at The Westchester!

_playroom2
Evan channeled Tom Hanks in the 1988 classic, “Big,” as he boogied on the giant electric piano.

Feed Them

Kids sure do work up an appetite (even from a smallish spending spree) and stopping to refuel is critical. Incorporating a fun dining experience into a busy shopping day is an effective method to keep kids distracted and happy while simultaneously providing parents an opportunity to relax. Stopping for lunch also breaks up the day and can actually extend your shopping trip and your toddler’s patience. Mariposa, the newly remodeled restaurant at Neiman Marcus Westchester, serves sumptuous New American cuisine in a fine-dining atmosphere. The sophisticated eatery is surprisingly kid-friendly and offers a traditional children’s menu. As soon as we entered, the waitstaff were warm and welcoming and quickly supplied my son with crayons, paper, and juice. Our waitress was extremely patient and understanding and eagerly brought clean spoons to my daughter as she repeatedly dropped them on the floor.  Mariposa was the perfect backdrop to our lovely laid-back lunch! 

_0001

While none of these strategies are foolproof,  their execution will almost always buy you at least a few more minutes to peruse the shoe department in peace. Children react well to positive reinforcement, so be sure to praise them for even the smallest good behaviors. With a little planning, patience,  and realistic expectations, a trip to the mall can be enjoyable excursion for the whole family. 

_000000_mall2

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Manhattan Mommy Winter Must-Haves

In the city that never sleeps, not even an apocalyptic ice storm could keep New Yorkers indoors. For Manhattan residents, winter brings with it a plethora of exciting seasonal activities, including ice skating at Bryant Park Winter Village, sledding down Pilgrim Hill in Central Park, sipping hot chocolate at Serendipity, and shopping for the perfect resort wear.  Manhattan is picturesque in the winter, but braving the great outdoors in frigid temperatures with little ones takes a great deal of planning and preparation. It can be downright exhausting to dress fidgety babies and toddlers in multiple layers, hats and gloves and ultimately tuck them into stroller blankets. But with all of the focus on the children, who’s making sure that Mom has everything she needs to endure the frosty temperatures? Below are my Manhattan mommy winter must-haves that will make venturing out in a winter wonderland as enchanting as it sounds. Don’t leave home without them!

Stroller gloves

gloves
Gloves: 7AM Enfant

Manhattan’s Upper East Side neighborhood is home to more families with young children than any other region of the city.  Our sidewalks are lined with stroller-striding moms who systematically weave in and out of sidewalk traffic as if they could do it with eyes closed. Dressed in our heaviest down puffers and thermal accessories, we are often multitasking while running our daily errands. It can be difficult to reach into our wallets, answer our phones, grab a burp cloth or anything from inside the diaper bag, or even touch our babies while wearing cumbersome winter gloves. Continuously removing them and putting them back on is not only an inconvenience, but also a needless time drain. Introducing stroller hand warmers, the no-fuss accessory that keeps your hands warm on the coldest of days while simultaneously making it effortless to attend to our babies needs.  Unlike conventional gloves that always seem to go missing, these mitts are securely attached to the stroller handlebar and impossible to lose! Thanks to these innovative gloves, moms no longer need to choose between warmth and convenience.  Who said we couldn’t have it all?

Tech Gloves 

glovesfur1
Gloves: Echo

Smart phones are pocket-sized computers designed to utilize various communication modalities to simplify our daily lives. Their development has revolutionized the way we keep in touch with family and friends and has literally put the entire world at our fingertips. But why is it that we can’t operate our devices while wearing our finest winter accessories to keep our hands warm? How can a thin layer of cashmere suddenly cut us off from the outside world? I didn’t know either until I did a little digging.  Apparently, when we swipe our finger across the touch screen it produces an electrical current that allows the user to interact directly with what is being displayed on the screen. When we wear gloves, the fabric interferes with the passage of this electrical current, rendering us unable to operate our smart phones. I don’t know about you, but nothing comes between me and a good online sale, not even my favorite winter accessories! This fall I embarked on a quest to find the perfect tech gloves, the kind with coated fingertips that transmit the electrical current from your body to the device. I was afraid my efforts wouldn’t bear fruit as I sorted through pair after pair of uninspiring options that reminded me of shoddy juvenile mittens. And then, just as I was about to give up, I discovered the Echo tech gloves with fur cuffs. These beauties, still available at Bloomingdales, are made from the most buttery soft leather and are equally warm and sophisticated. Most importantly, they are compatible with iPhones, iPads and other touch-screen devices. You really can have your cake and eat it too!

glovesfur2
Echo Leather Gloves with Asiatic Raccoon Fur Cuff – $129, Bloomingdales

Aquaphor

aquaphor

Aquaphor healing ointment is the first line of defense against your baby’s minor cuts and scrapes and for this reason it’s a staple item in the diaper bags of most moms. It’s best known for its use in healing baby’s sensitive skin and the treatment and prevention of diaper rash, but unlike most other baby products on the market, Aquaphor’s uses extend far beyond the nursery. It’s a multipurpose ointment that can be used to promote healthy skin for moms and the entire family.  Flakey chapped lips are a common cold-weather complaint for everyone in a cold climate, especially Manhattan moms who spend a great deal of time outdoors transporting children and running errands. Sure, you can apply layer after layer of balm to your lips, but this isn’t an effective long-term solution to a chronic condition. Aquaphor, on the other hand, not only moisturizes severely chapped lips, but also adds shine and keeps lips soft by acting as a barrier against cold winter weather. This is one item I cannot live without. Grab some of your baby’s Aquaphor and pucker up, Moms!

Insulated Coffee Mug

melissa
Coat: Moncler   Fox Scarf: Optimal Accessories (old), similar here    Sunglasses: Prada   Gloves: Echo    Jeans: Seven For All Mankind

Rain or shine, Manhattan moms are always on-the-go. We schlep our little ones to classes and play dates even in the most frigid temperatures. We arm ourselves with coffee to warm our bodies from the inside out, but how many of us have taken a big gulp of a venti Starbucks latte only to discover it’s quickly gotten cold? We’ve all been there. A durable, well-insulated, and spill-proof coffee mug is an absolute must-have for java-drinking Manhattan moms. The LifeSky mug keeps coffee piping hot for 8 hours and features a one-hand opening mechanism, perfect for stroller-striding moms who don’t have use of both hands. Fill your mug with delicious brew and drink it at your leisure because this mug will keep your coffee piping hot for an impressive 8 hours. You can buy your own here.

Headgear

a1
Earmuffs: Surell

All fashionista moms would agree that the one thing sabotaging their perfect blowouts this winter is none other than the traditional winter hat.  There is nothing worse than arriving for an event and removing your hat, only to discover that your perfectly tousled tresses have fallen victim to “hat head.”  But what is a Manhattan girl to do in a city plagued by abysmal winter weather?  Earmuffs and thermal headbands are cold weather accessories that won’t wreak havoc on your hairstyle like hats do. From cozy cashmere to luxurious furs, there are plenty of options in all styles and price ranges. I received a pair of Surell ear muffs for Hanukkah and never leave home without them. Get yours here.