Black Friday: the day when people trample others for deep discounts mere hours after giving thanks for everything they already have. And for those of you itching to deplete your bank accounts even before you consume your colossal plate of food, you’re in luck, as Black Friday sales no longer begin on Friday, but rather on Thanksgiving or even before!! Black Friday is an enigma in the truest form. In a real life manifestation of The Hunger Games, people emerge from their turkey-induced comas and all common decency is abandoned as they compete for price-slashed luxury goods. Unless armed with helmets and shoulder pads, battling hoards of overzealous retailers is a dangerous sport not meant for the faint of heart.

The first and most critical rule for Black Friday shopping – STAY HOME.  There, I said it. With few exceptions, shoppers extraordinaire can access the same deals online as in stores. This year, stay in your pajamas, grab some spiced cider, and get those fingers ready to furiously type in your credit card numbers.

Below is my ultimate Black Friday Cheat sheet – You’re welcome!

& Other Stories is offering 20% off everything through 11/24.

7 For All Mankind is offering 40% off sitewide through 11/27.

Alternative Apparel is offering 30% off sitewide through 11/25. Use code THANKS30.

Aritzia is offering 50% off select fall/winter styles through 11/26.

ARO  is offering 30% off sitewide with code THANKYOU from 11/22 to 11/26.

ASOS will give you 20% off with code HELLO20 and free shipping worldwide.

Ban.do is offering 30% off sitewide with code THIRTYOFF through 11/27.

Barnes & Noble has a bunch of deals going on: Get 50% off the best young adult books of 2018, toys and games for BOGO 50% off, and 50% off Moleskine items, plus more all through 11/25.

Baublebar is offering 30% off through 11/24.

Benefit Cosmetics is offering 25% off everything plus free shipping with code BENEBINGE through 11/24.

Betsey Johnson is offering 35% off sitewide through 11/25.

Blank NYC will give you 30% off sidewide with code BLACKFRIDAY from 11/23-11/25.

Bloomingdales is offering 15% off $100+, 20% off $250+, or 25% off $400+ on items labeled “buy more save more” through 11/24.

Boohoo will give you 60% off fashion and accessories with free returns!

Charlotte Russe is offering Select Sweaters for $15 through 11/22 at 3am EST. And get Long Denim, Boxed Shoes, and Outerwear items for $20 from now through 11/25 at 3am EST.

Chinese Laundry is offering 30% off sitewide excluding best seller items — use code HOLIDAY.

Club Monaco has the following offer: Spend to Get 25% off $150 30% off $250 35% off $400 on purchase with code: CMBLACKFRIDAY18. Valid 11/21-11/24.

Coach is offering 50% off select bestselling handbags starting today and lasting until they’re sold out! And get 30% off select styles with promo code THANKS18 through 11/27.

Cole Haan is offering 50% off select boots, bags, and outerwear plus 30% off everything else through 11/24.

Converse is offering 20% off clearance styles through 11/22.

Dear Frances is offering 25% off sitewide through 11/27 with code BF25.

DKNY is offering 30% off your purchase with code YESPLEASE through 11/28.

Dormify will give you 25% off with code BLACKFRIDAY2018 through 11/25.

Dorothy Perkins is offering up to 50% off select lines through 11/22.

Draper James is offering 25% off sitewide with code GATHERROUND through 11/26.

e.l.f. Cosmetics has the following offer: Get a $25 value holiday gift when you spend $25 from 11/19 to 11/26 on elfcosmetics.com.

Eloquii is offering 50% off a $75+ purchase with code EARLY.

Etsy is having a Cyber Sales Event with items for 10-60% off through 11/26! Click here to visit the sale.

Express is offering 50% off absolutely everything through 11/24 at 2:59am ET.

Fashion Nova is offering 25% off select styles!

Frances Valentine is offering 30% off orders of $200 or more with code FVGIFTS30; Excludes Kate bags and preorder items.

Gap has the following offer: Black Friday! 50% off Everything! No exclusions! Use code BLKFRIDAY at gap.com. Restrictions apply. Ends 11/24. And get an extra 10% off everything with code TREAT through 11/24.

Garage is offering 40% off all orders from now through 11/26 at 7am EST!

Genuine People is offering 30% off sitewide through 11/26 with code TAKE30.

Giorgio Armani Beauty has the following offer going on: Enjoy 20% off all Giorgio Armani Beauty products. Receive complimentary shipping when you spend $75+. Receive a complimentary full sized lipstick with any order of $125+. In addition, receive a makeup palette with any order of $200+. Use Code ARMANI20. Valid 11/18-11/28.

Gorjana has the following offer: From November 22-24, spend $100 and get $20 off; spend $150 and get $50 off; spend $250 and get $100 off.

J.Crew is offering 40% off select styles through 11/22 with code TOGETHER.

Keds is offering 30% off full priced items and 20% off sale items through 11/27.

Kurt Lyle is offering 25% off sitewide with code ART25.

Lands’ End is offering 50% off full price styles plus free shipping on $50+.

L.K. Bennett is offering 30% off $250+ with code HAPPY30.

Lancome is offering 20% off and free shipping on any order through 11/27! Use code FRIENDS.

Levi’s is offering 40% off all items plus special daily offers through 11/26.

LOFT is offering 50% off your purchase with code THANKS starting at 5pm and lasting until 11/22 at 11:59pm.

Lord & Taylor is offering an extra $25 off your purchase of $200+ with code BONUSthrough 11/25. And they have an extra 40% off newly reduced prices through 11/25.

Lulu’s is offering 25% off sitewide plus free US shipping — use code BF25 through 11/24.

Lululemon is having a big sale with markdowns starting at just $9!

Luv AJ is offering 40% off sitewide for multiple days with code BLACKFRIDAY.

Macy’s is offering 20% off Black Friday Sale items and free shipping on $49 with code BLKFRI through 11/24. Their deals include 40% off Anastasia Glow Kits (through 11/28), 5 pairs of womens boots for $100 (through 11/24), 60% off petite coats (through 11/24), and the UD Naked Smokey Eyeshadow Palette for $25 (through 11/26)!

Maje is offering up to 30% off plus an additional 25% off through 11/25.

Marc Jacobs Beauty is launching an exclusive Black Friday collection! Also, get a Mini Velvet Noir, mini Highliner in Blacquer, and mini Lip Crème in Slow Burn + makeup pochette with orders over $75 through 11/24.

Mavi Jeans  is offering 30% off site-wide through 11/26.

M. Gemi is offering 25% off your entire order through 11/26.

Modcloth will give you 30% off $100, 40% off $200, and more! Plus there are tons of items on sale across the site. All valid through 11/25.

Nasty Gal is offering 60% off sitewide!

Net-A-Porter is offering up to 50% off sitewide all week.

Nicole Miller is offering 25% off site-wide from 11/23-11/25.

Nike is offering 20% off select styles with code THANKS, plus free shipping!

Nordstrom is offering up to 60% off select items through 11/26!

Nordstrom Rack is launching major new deals every single day this week with prices up to 70% off so check the site daily to save!

Old Navy  is offering 50% off your entire purchase through 11/23.

Opening Ceremony is offering an additional 20% off sale items with code OCBLACK20 from 11/23-11/25. 

Poppy Lissiman is offering 25% off site-wide (excluding pre-order items) from 11/23-11/26 with code BFCM.

Prive’ Revaux is offering 25% off all orders of $50+ with code Prive18 through 11/26.

Puma is offering 30% off select styles with code PUMAFRIDAY through 11/25.

Rag & Bone is offering 25% off sitewide plus free shipping through 11/26.

Reformation is offering 30% off sitewide through 11/26.

Saks Fifth Avenue is offering up to $200 off your purchase with code SAVENOW on 11/21 only! They’re also offering up to $150 off a Women’s Denim purchase with code DENIM2018 through 11/25. They also have the following deal: Black Friday Exclusive! Earn a $75 Gift Card with your $150 purchase. Use code THANKFUL. Valid 11/23-11/24.

Saks Off Fifth is offering 50% off all coats, men’s and women’s cashmere, boots, designer jeans, hats, and gloves and scarves, all through 11/26. Designer sunglasses buy 1, get 1 50% off; 50% off Women’s boots; 50% off cold weather accessories including hats, gloves & scarves, all through 11/26.

Sam Edelman is offering 30% off select styles online and in stores with code SAMSGIVING2018.

Sandro is offering up to 30% off plus an additional 25% off from 11/22-11/25.

Scotch & Soda is offering an additional 25% off sale merchandise through 11/24.

Sephora has select items for 50% off with different items on sale each day until 11/26.

Shopbop is offering 25% off full-price items and 75% off sale items from now through 11/25 — use code MORE18.

Splendid is offering 30% off sitewide through 11/25.

Stila has the following offer: 30% OFF Site-Wide and Free Shipping No Minimum starting Thanksgiving Day thru 11/24! Use Code: 30BFSALE at checkout.

Sweaty Betty is offering 30% off site-wide from 11/22-11/26.

The Outnet is offering up to 85% off plus additional discounts with code BLACKFRIDAYon 11/23.

Toms is offering 30% off everything, and free shipping when you spend $60, all through 11/27.

Topshop is offering up to 50% off select items from now through 11/26 plus free shipping on all orders!

Torrid is offering 40% off full price and 50% off clearance for Torrid Insider credit card holders — use code SHOPFIRST.

Under Armour is offering 30% off all fleece and select shoes, plus free shipping!

Urban Outfitters is offering buy one, get one 50% off entire site through 11/23.

Vera Bradley is offering 30% off your entire purchase including already reduced items through 11/27. They also have their Exclusive Bright Tote for $44 through 11/27. And all items ship for free!

Walgreens is offering an extra $10 off $60 with code CELEBRATE10 through 11/21. Also, fragrance, cosmetics and personal care gift sets are BOGO 50% off through 11/24.